Published: July 15, 2024
MONROVIA — Is it okay to be married to a woman and be sexually intimate with a man? This question touches on the profound identity crisis faced by many Liberian men. Often, we struggle with understanding who we are, our direction in life, and our purpose. This internal storm creates turbulence, pushing us into various crises without control or direction, often leading to destructive outcomes. It drags innocent loved ones—wives and children—into a whirlwind of chaos fueled by ignorance. This ignorance breeds disloyalty and jealousy.
By Edwin Elic-Jaleiba, Lifestyle & Entertainment Editor
The root of our struggle lies in our inability to trust ourselves. Battling to become better men, we can’t trust the reflection in the mirror, making it difficult to trust those we claim to love. This lack of self-love translates into a lack of love for those around us. Many Liberian men, hiding their true identities, embody this internal conflict. If one is confident and proud of who they are, there’s no need for deception. People only hide when they know their actions are wrong.
Recently, a video of two men engaged in a sexual act went viral. Ordinarily, such private matters shouldn’t be news. However, the fact that these men are married with children makes it a topic of conversation. When prominent gay activist Tarus Cole claimed that 90% of Liberian men are queer, he faced backlash. Should we now apologize to Tarus for attempting to reveal the long-standing hypocrisy among our men? These men are guilty of more than just being gay; they are guilty of betraying their wives.
A man’s sexual preference is personal, and judgment belongs to God. However, marrying someone’s daughter, having children with her, and then betraying her with someone of your gender without her knowledge is ultimate wickedness. This deception is emotionally devastating. We live in a world where couples are open-minded about certain levels of intimacy, but everything boils down to truth and respect. Some couples swing with others, some allow extramarital affairs, but these arrangements are based on mutual agreement and understanding.
The internet has not rested, and to protect these men’s families, their names won’t be mentioned here. However, their faces are visible in the widely circulated video. Gay men with wives or girlfriends who are unaware of their sexuality must come clean. This revelation doesn’t mean they don’t love their partners; it means they respect them enough to be truthful. Love alone is not enough in a relationship; loyalty, truth, and respect are crucial. Heart-to-heart conversations, sealed with honesty, are necessary to avoid emotional betrayal.
It’s wrong to awaken a lover’s soul only to shatter it with deceit and heartbreak.
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